Hard to fit size? Join the club!

In my grandmother’s time in China, many people - those who could afford it - had their clothes custom made by tailors.  Over time, manufacturers figured out that it would be more efficient for them if they mass produced clothes in “average” sizes that would require only minor alterations at the point of sale, allowing individual shops to buy and stock more inventory.  This is how ready-to-wear came into being, and it has brought convenience to our life.  While this works wonderfully in most situations, there are still many of us left behind with off-the-rack clothes that don’t quite work. Let me give you an example: In China, my home country, I am considered tall though I am only a bit above average by Western standards.  In high school, I was about 30 pounds heavier than I am today, so by Chinese standards I was considered a giant in those days!  I could not find any decent ready to wear clothes to buy, and in my summer job (working as a sauce preparer at the Renaissance Hotel restaurant) I had to wear a boy’s uniform!  Trust me, it was hard to think of myself as pretty back then!

You see, our so-called mainstream sizes are actually controlled by manufacturers. Over the years I have worked in fashion, I rarely meet any women who don’t have any complaints about their body, especially when they can not find their idealized size to fit them.  Sometimes, they may start to daydream about going on a diet or having plastic surgery, so that they can fit into what they believe to be ideal clothes.  I call this the Cinderella syndrome.  If we fit into that special “shoe size”, we will meet our “prince” - i.e., find our ideal, whether an actual prince or some fantasy vision of ourselves.  But think of all the time, effort, money and energy that is wasted trying to fit some delusional, external idea of beauty! This happens to plus size women even more.  Ironically, the average American women’s size is 14-16.  In the real world, not some designer’s fantasy world, plus size in America should be normal size.  

In fact, speaking from personal experience with my clients, I can say that many plus size women are not even overweight - they may be big, healthy and athletic and not simply fit the fashion model ideal.  Not only plus size women have issues with fit, either - I have clients and friends who are petite and sometimes find themselves shopping children’s sizes to find something to wear! So please know, if you struggle to find ready to wear clothes that fit you properly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I want to share with you a few ideas to solve this body/fit puzzle.  First, you need to have a clear understanding of your body type, and know which areas to minimize, where to enhance, and where to balance.  Secondly, you need to have some basic knowledge of what vendor will fit you and then pay attention to the measurements and try a few.  For myself, I’ve learned I have a wider shoulder and smaller hip than typical.  I often wear a A-line skirt to create an hourglass shape, which works for me.

One thing I love about living in America (and especially Austin) is that it’s really O.K. here to be different.  In my view, it is just like our culture, and our personality, sometimes we are different.  As people more and more accept differences in the world, we just need to face the fact that not everybody can fit so-called mainstream clothes sizes.  BUT, that absolutely does not mean we have to sacrifice looking good!  There ARE good choices out there.  You may have to work harder (or find someone to work harder for you) than the mainstream body type person to flatter your body type in the right way, but you don’t have to look like I did in the boy’s uniform in high school!

I was inspired to write on this topic because during the course of my daily fashion online research I saw an truly fabulous plus-size dress - this is one of the best plus size dresses I’ve ever seen.  It has almost all the features you would look for:

• Washable knit fabric that flows gently over your curves without clinging.
• A polished and flattering silhouette. V-neck to longate the neckline, shape-defining bodice, elbow sleeves and knee length
• Three beauiful simple colors to choose from
• And it is only $69.99!

Finally, I need to plug my business a bit.  As with many things in life, you can absolutely do a fine job finding fashions, outfits, and looks for yourself...if you have the time, if you have the eye for it, if you have the passion for it, if you want to deal with running around, shopping multiple vendors, returning items, etc.  Or, you can do what most successful people do, and hire an expert to work with you, spend the time, energy and effort as your agent in the marketplace, looking for the best things out there on your behalf, and handling all the grief that comes with shopping as well as providing a keen eye and an honest opinion.  After an initial meeting and discussion, and taking some measurements, I can be out in the marketplace on your behalf finding you great clothes, helping you understand how they can be worn with your existing wardrobe, and providing results very quickly!  The time commitment is minimal - my clients are busy so I don’t waste their time taking them around to stores.  Much of what I provide to clients I find online.  At Nordstrom, I learned the meaning of service, and in my business I take service to the next level.  If you would like to see what I mean, please get in touch.  

How do you define "well-dressed"?

Last week, my sister-in-law Jill sent me a link of The 40 Worst-Dressed Cities in America. This led me to think how we define "well-dressed" in our society. Is it money? Is it brand? Or is it just how you feel yourself? I have my own take on this.

First of all, I think if you are OK with what you wear, labels such as best-dressed or worst-dressed simply do not matter.  Looking at the photos from the link above, to me these people appear comfortable and happy. There is nothing wrong with it! And some of them clearly don't care what other people think of them! Good for you! There is nothing wrong with wearing clothes to express yourself.

Second, I think it is quite important to dress for the occasion, whatever that occasion might be. Imagine if you are the only person who wears an evening gown to a football tailgate party, or if you wear your football jersey to your son’s graduation. Don't get me wrong, if you are happy with yourself, it is OK. But if you are not intending to express your unique personality through your wardrobe, following a common sense dress code is not a bad idea. There are exceptions too. I heard this story from my husband. A famous billionaire property investor wore jeans and an open-necked shirt to speak at an investment conference where suits and ties were the dominant style. Clearly, he is not concerned with being underdressed, and that is OK too.

All that said, most of us still live in a world where we deal with people, and those people’s opinions matter to us and may well directly determine our success, whether we get the business, the promotion or the date. If we are not where we wish to be in life, part of trying hard may well mean presenting your best possible appearance. A salesperson, to take one example, needs to project professionalism and credibility. In an ideal world, a potential buyer would see past appearances and judge objectively and solely on the merits of a given proposal. However, there is plenty of evidence that shows that people’s initial impressions come from the first five to ten seconds of meeting someone, and that these are extremely difficult to change once established.

What type of image do we want to represent ourselves? That may well depend not only on oneself, but also on who is in the group with whom you are interacting. A salesperson approaching a law firm, for example, may well dress differently than one approaching a musician or an internet startup. There are still some general guidelines one can follow - it is generally a good idea to be no less dressy than the customers you plan to call on. Here are three basic key guidelines for looking good in general:

1. Fit! Sleeves, hem, waist, inseam etc are all very important. If they are too loose, you appear to sink yourself into the clothes; if they are too tight, you could look like you have “sausage rolls” on your back - this is clearly not a good look! Reasonable balance, and the right type of camouflage and accent for your individual body type are the keys to the ideal fit.

2. Color. Color is the essence of dressing well - it affects how you feel and how people respond to you. Color attracts the eye first. It is the first thing that others see about you and probably will remember about you. The right color will light your face up, and make you look bright and energetic. The wrong color will emphasize more of your wrinkles and dark circles. Understanding and using the magic of your individual color palette to express yourself will empower you to look and feel better and healthier, and evoke a positive energy around you that will make a good impression on those you meet.

3. Style. This is the most challenging to discover and manage. Many of us go through stages with our style and it is OK. Don't be overly self-critical. Our personal style usually evolves over the course of our lives. As we shift priorities from ourselves, to our career, to our families, and sometimes back and forth among these, how we express ourselves and our style may well change too. If you feel more comfortable with a timeless, classic look, go for it! If that bores you, you can try for a more creative look. You need to learn through your own experimentation and experience what is best for you - no store salesperson or magazine can decide this for you. The only way you can wear clothes comfortably and confidently is to find your own style.

Readers, I’d love to know what you think! Please share your ideas in the comment section.