Hard to fit size? Join the club!

In my grandmother’s time in China, many people - those who could afford it - had their clothes custom made by tailors.  Over time, manufacturers figured out that it would be more efficient for them if they mass produced clothes in “average” sizes that would require only minor alterations at the point of sale, allowing individual shops to buy and stock more inventory.  This is how ready-to-wear came into being, and it has brought convenience to our life.  While this works wonderfully in most situations, there are still many of us left behind with off-the-rack clothes that don’t quite work. Let me give you an example: In China, my home country, I am considered tall though I am only a bit above average by Western standards.  In high school, I was about 30 pounds heavier than I am today, so by Chinese standards I was considered a giant in those days!  I could not find any decent ready to wear clothes to buy, and in my summer job (working as a sauce preparer at the Renaissance Hotel restaurant) I had to wear a boy’s uniform!  Trust me, it was hard to think of myself as pretty back then!

You see, our so-called mainstream sizes are actually controlled by manufacturers. Over the years I have worked in fashion, I rarely meet any women who don’t have any complaints about their body, especially when they can not find their idealized size to fit them.  Sometimes, they may start to daydream about going on a diet or having plastic surgery, so that they can fit into what they believe to be ideal clothes.  I call this the Cinderella syndrome.  If we fit into that special “shoe size”, we will meet our “prince” - i.e., find our ideal, whether an actual prince or some fantasy vision of ourselves.  But think of all the time, effort, money and energy that is wasted trying to fit some delusional, external idea of beauty! This happens to plus size women even more.  Ironically, the average American women’s size is 14-16.  In the real world, not some designer’s fantasy world, plus size in America should be normal size.  

In fact, speaking from personal experience with my clients, I can say that many plus size women are not even overweight - they may be big, healthy and athletic and not simply fit the fashion model ideal.  Not only plus size women have issues with fit, either - I have clients and friends who are petite and sometimes find themselves shopping children’s sizes to find something to wear! So please know, if you struggle to find ready to wear clothes that fit you properly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I want to share with you a few ideas to solve this body/fit puzzle.  First, you need to have a clear understanding of your body type, and know which areas to minimize, where to enhance, and where to balance.  Secondly, you need to have some basic knowledge of what vendor will fit you and then pay attention to the measurements and try a few.  For myself, I’ve learned I have a wider shoulder and smaller hip than typical.  I often wear a A-line skirt to create an hourglass shape, which works for me.

One thing I love about living in America (and especially Austin) is that it’s really O.K. here to be different.  In my view, it is just like our culture, and our personality, sometimes we are different.  As people more and more accept differences in the world, we just need to face the fact that not everybody can fit so-called mainstream clothes sizes.  BUT, that absolutely does not mean we have to sacrifice looking good!  There ARE good choices out there.  You may have to work harder (or find someone to work harder for you) than the mainstream body type person to flatter your body type in the right way, but you don’t have to look like I did in the boy’s uniform in high school!

I was inspired to write on this topic because during the course of my daily fashion online research I saw an truly fabulous plus-size dress - this is one of the best plus size dresses I’ve ever seen.  It has almost all the features you would look for:

• Washable knit fabric that flows gently over your curves without clinging.
• A polished and flattering silhouette. V-neck to longate the neckline, shape-defining bodice, elbow sleeves and knee length
• Three beauiful simple colors to choose from
• And it is only $69.99!

Finally, I need to plug my business a bit.  As with many things in life, you can absolutely do a fine job finding fashions, outfits, and looks for yourself...if you have the time, if you have the eye for it, if you have the passion for it, if you want to deal with running around, shopping multiple vendors, returning items, etc.  Or, you can do what most successful people do, and hire an expert to work with you, spend the time, energy and effort as your agent in the marketplace, looking for the best things out there on your behalf, and handling all the grief that comes with shopping as well as providing a keen eye and an honest opinion.  After an initial meeting and discussion, and taking some measurements, I can be out in the marketplace on your behalf finding you great clothes, helping you understand how they can be worn with your existing wardrobe, and providing results very quickly!  The time commitment is minimal - my clients are busy so I don’t waste their time taking them around to stores.  Much of what I provide to clients I find online.  At Nordstrom, I learned the meaning of service, and in my business I take service to the next level.  If you would like to see what I mean, please get in touch.  

Holiday party - What to wear?

I personally think the holiday season is not only a time to celebrate the joy of the year - family and friends gathering, festive food, exchanging of gifts - but it can also be the most emotionally volatile time of year as well.  Everyone, whether in their companies or in their families, tends to take stock of themselves and their situations as the holidays also coincide with year-end.  There is always pressure to “look good” or “look successful,” as well as to feel good and successful ourselves and please those important to us.  Retailers understand this, and they know how to pull the heartstrings to get us to open our wallets.  Kids write their wishful letters to Santa, and those of us who are parents want to do our best to fulfill our kids’ wishes even sometimes when doing so gives us conflict.  And of course, we have the holiday party invitations and the pressure that comes with celebrating the season with friends and colleagues before we spend time with our families.

I can’t really tell you how to handle the kids’ gift wishes - this is primarily a fashion blog after all - but I would like to share my thoughts about what to wear to the holiday parties you’re likely preparing to attend.

First, take a deep breath!  (Doesn’t that feel better?)

It is very possible you already have just what you need to put your holiday look together, sitting right there in your closet.  Or maybe you will just need to buy one or two dazzling pieces.  

Let me help you to put some potential outfits together!

Let’s start with a basic check list - if you already have one of the following, you are in good shape!

• Little black/navy/red/wine (you name it, any dark color) dress
• Dark wash, well fitted jeans
• Dark blazer
• Silk blouse
• Simple pencil skirt
• Pumps
• Wool/Cashmere/Cotton & silk sweaters

Here’s my suggested additions to complete your outfit!

Gloves:   Many of us forget about this fabulous winter accessory that can marry fashion and function.  Have fun and try on different colors, prints and lengths.  Long leather or satin gloves that reach the elbow can add a bit of style and sophistication to sleeveless attire.  Wear a pair in a deep-jeweled tone like garnet, sapphire or emerald to add a pop of color to a simple black dress.  If you don’t care for long gloves, go with a shorter pair with embellishment.

Scarves:  I do love me some scarves!  I am a big fan of scarves with unique prints.  One of my favorite things about scarves is that you never need to fit INTO a scarf!  Extra holiday indulgences have zero impact on your ability to wear a scarf, and adding one to your look creates an instant dressed-up feel.  If you have a busy working day with an event on the schedule afterwards, you may not have time to go home and change.  Add a silk scarf on your neck, and off you go! 

Sequins or paillettes: Get ready to shine!  A sequined dress in black, gold, or silver makes for the perfect outfit this holiday season.  Too much of a good thing?  Try a sequined tank or jacket you can pair with practically anything – from your favorite dark wash denim to a go-to-work pencil skirt or simple trouser.  For just a bit of sparkle, add a narrow sequined belt or clutch.  Remember, the more sequins you have, the less jewelry you need.

Red: If you have your favorite shade of red living somewhere in your closet, this is the perfect time to bring it out.  Scarlet red, rust red, plum red, any shade of red can be the base of a great festive outfit.  If you feel red is a bit too much for you, opt for red nail color or a red lipstick instead. (Be sure to wear a nude lip liner to avoid any bleeding of color into fine lines around the mouth.)

Statement jewelry:  This can be as simple as a diamond stud necklace, a drop of pearl, or can be as dramatic as a pair of chandelier earrings or a chunky necklace, or as fun as a holiday theme broach. Make sure it suits your personality.  If you struggle to decide, remember simple is beautiful. 

If you’re going to be driving, please drive safe and alert!  I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seems that every holiday season I see more accidents and near-accidents - I think people get more easily distracted at this time of year.  Stay alert, use these tips, RELAX and enjoy your holiday season!

Why do we need to dress well? Where is the line?

Greetings!

From late August to early September I was traveling for a family/business trip to the east coast including New York and the Washington DC area.  Our last stop was Alexandria VA, just across the Potomac River from Washington, where we attended a friend’s wedding.  As usual, I travel in casual wear.  The moment I stepped in our hotel, I started feeling like I was the most dressed down woman in the lobby.  The next day, when I went to Starbucks for my morning coffee in shorts and a T-shirt, I found myself in most casual situation again. Even guys were super dressed too.  There was a young guy, maybe barely 30, wearing a bow tie and sport coat ordering coffee in front me.  I don’t know if any of you share this feeling with me or not - when I am the least dressed women in a group, I felt very uncomfortable.  I started to think, what’s going on with this town?

Being as close as it is to the nation’s capital, many politicians and lobbyists live and work in Alexandria.  In the professional world, it should go without saying that dressing well is very important.  Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov said "First impressions are formed in less than a tenth of a second."

When you dress to project an authoritative image, people tend to listen to you more.  For ladies, my personal experience is, when you dress well, you get treated well.  Newsweek columnist Jessica Bennett said, "In this economy looking good isn't just vanity, it’s economic survival."  

Inevitably, dressing well can go extreme. So the question arises: in the professional field, how can one dress well while maintaining their own style?  Where is the line between stylish and fashion slave?  I’d like to share my thoughts.

1. Smile! - this is the best, most sustainable and easiest (no cost) accessory you can ever have. And also please take care of yourself, eat well and exercise! You can attract more bees with honey than vinegar! In virtually any professional setting, a smile and a good attitude will get you a long way.

2. If you are a professional, when you manage your wardrobe, set professional needs first and play needs second.   This is a very personalized topic, it depends on your professional goal and image goal.  For one example, make dressy slacks a priority ahead of jeans.  There are also shopping guidelines you can follow from my previous post.

3.  Once you have established your core wardrobe, you can use the looks within that wardrobe that work for you - you won’t need to “work for looks” any longer.  If you like to shop, work from the core wardrobe and add a few pieces each season along with the trend.  It is not necessary to become a fashion slave, to panic each new season, to overbuy and still feel like you have nothing to wear.  Well-selected, quality professional clothes should last for at least a couple of years.  Being organized and having a plan can help you avoid feeling lost.

The good news about my time in Alexandria was that I was simply visiting while the folks surrounding me were working and dressing to impress.  The “underdressed” impulse I felt was quickly followed by the realization that these people were here to work and I was here to relax and enjoy my friend’s wedding.  I enjoyed my time in Alexandria, and I did look good at the wedding - I just didn’t pack “wedding clothes” for everyday use!  

Do any of you have the same issues when traveling - how to pack when mixing business, pleasure and other activities?  Please share your stories and questions in the comment section.

How do you define "well-dressed"?

Last week, my sister-in-law Jill sent me a link of The 40 Worst-Dressed Cities in America. This led me to think how we define "well-dressed" in our society. Is it money? Is it brand? Or is it just how you feel yourself? I have my own take on this.

First of all, I think if you are OK with what you wear, labels such as best-dressed or worst-dressed simply do not matter.  Looking at the photos from the link above, to me these people appear comfortable and happy. There is nothing wrong with it! And some of them clearly don't care what other people think of them! Good for you! There is nothing wrong with wearing clothes to express yourself.

Second, I think it is quite important to dress for the occasion, whatever that occasion might be. Imagine if you are the only person who wears an evening gown to a football tailgate party, or if you wear your football jersey to your son’s graduation. Don't get me wrong, if you are happy with yourself, it is OK. But if you are not intending to express your unique personality through your wardrobe, following a common sense dress code is not a bad idea. There are exceptions too. I heard this story from my husband. A famous billionaire property investor wore jeans and an open-necked shirt to speak at an investment conference where suits and ties were the dominant style. Clearly, he is not concerned with being underdressed, and that is OK too.

All that said, most of us still live in a world where we deal with people, and those people’s opinions matter to us and may well directly determine our success, whether we get the business, the promotion or the date. If we are not where we wish to be in life, part of trying hard may well mean presenting your best possible appearance. A salesperson, to take one example, needs to project professionalism and credibility. In an ideal world, a potential buyer would see past appearances and judge objectively and solely on the merits of a given proposal. However, there is plenty of evidence that shows that people’s initial impressions come from the first five to ten seconds of meeting someone, and that these are extremely difficult to change once established.

What type of image do we want to represent ourselves? That may well depend not only on oneself, but also on who is in the group with whom you are interacting. A salesperson approaching a law firm, for example, may well dress differently than one approaching a musician or an internet startup. There are still some general guidelines one can follow - it is generally a good idea to be no less dressy than the customers you plan to call on. Here are three basic key guidelines for looking good in general:

1. Fit! Sleeves, hem, waist, inseam etc are all very important. If they are too loose, you appear to sink yourself into the clothes; if they are too tight, you could look like you have “sausage rolls” on your back - this is clearly not a good look! Reasonable balance, and the right type of camouflage and accent for your individual body type are the keys to the ideal fit.

2. Color. Color is the essence of dressing well - it affects how you feel and how people respond to you. Color attracts the eye first. It is the first thing that others see about you and probably will remember about you. The right color will light your face up, and make you look bright and energetic. The wrong color will emphasize more of your wrinkles and dark circles. Understanding and using the magic of your individual color palette to express yourself will empower you to look and feel better and healthier, and evoke a positive energy around you that will make a good impression on those you meet.

3. Style. This is the most challenging to discover and manage. Many of us go through stages with our style and it is OK. Don't be overly self-critical. Our personal style usually evolves over the course of our lives. As we shift priorities from ourselves, to our career, to our families, and sometimes back and forth among these, how we express ourselves and our style may well change too. If you feel more comfortable with a timeless, classic look, go for it! If that bores you, you can try for a more creative look. You need to learn through your own experimentation and experience what is best for you - no store salesperson or magazine can decide this for you. The only way you can wear clothes comfortably and confidently is to find your own style.

Readers, I’d love to know what you think! Please share your ideas in the comment section.